YES. thirty years ago as a 30 something I remember the feeling of coming home from volunteering at church and seeing the light flashing on my answering machine and dreading it. My philosophy had been that if I've got an opening in the calendar it must mean it's my responsibility. I was exhausted, and I'm a white woman with a complete family circle and ample provision for my needs. It took a WHILE before I learned that I don't have to earn approval from anyone, including God, by my work. Now as someone with chronic health issues, I'm forced to live a small life but some things are worth the push effort, like making dinner for people I love.
Different circumstances, same need for discerning choice.
Love how you describe developing your limits and self knowledge. Your skills are VALUABLE and I'm so glad you've learned how to give them wisely.
My friend who knows me well sent me your beautiful article. I read it once... and then I read it again to really let your wisdom sink into my bones. I came here to say thank you for being so generous with this boundary setting tool. As someone who struggles with honoring my worth, I am deeply grateful.
Whew, this is so good! Great for any BIPOC person who is asked to do ALL the things ... but also really great for org's to dig into when they are discussing DEI strategy and implementation. Going to share with a lot of my people from both circles, including my fellow Equity leaders who are more than tired ... thank you. Plus, my whole Substack is about Braving YES -- to you, to what matters, to your priorities. So this is just GOLD for me personally.
Dr., such a needed reminder to like my yes/no to self-care. I want to prioritize me. I use to think that every invitation was God opening the door and I needed to say yes. Now I realize it’s not that deep 😀
Dr., this is an awesome read. So precise and to the point. Even declining an invitation to a conversation. Thank you for this post.
Thank you!
YES. thirty years ago as a 30 something I remember the feeling of coming home from volunteering at church and seeing the light flashing on my answering machine and dreading it. My philosophy had been that if I've got an opening in the calendar it must mean it's my responsibility. I was exhausted, and I'm a white woman with a complete family circle and ample provision for my needs. It took a WHILE before I learned that I don't have to earn approval from anyone, including God, by my work. Now as someone with chronic health issues, I'm forced to live a small life but some things are worth the push effort, like making dinner for people I love.
Different circumstances, same need for discerning choice.
Love how you describe developing your limits and self knowledge. Your skills are VALUABLE and I'm so glad you've learned how to give them wisely.
Learning not to fill every open space is hard!
Spot on.
My friend who knows me well sent me your beautiful article. I read it once... and then I read it again to really let your wisdom sink into my bones. I came here to say thank you for being so generous with this boundary setting tool. As someone who struggles with honoring my worth, I am deeply grateful.
Whew, this is so good! Great for any BIPOC person who is asked to do ALL the things ... but also really great for org's to dig into when they are discussing DEI strategy and implementation. Going to share with a lot of my people from both circles, including my fellow Equity leaders who are more than tired ... thank you. Plus, my whole Substack is about Braving YES -- to you, to what matters, to your priorities. So this is just GOLD for me personally.
Dr., such a needed reminder to like my yes/no to self-care. I want to prioritize me. I use to think that every invitation was God opening the door and I needed to say yes. Now I realize it’s not that deep 😀
I love how you invited the cookout to academia. The cookout is academic. Thank you for this, saving this for a feature!
That chart is CLUTCH! Thank you for sharing.