Really interesting read, I work as a Professional Organiser helping people declutter and organise their homes and this really resonates. I work with people to encourage them to use the lovely things they have and loose the things that are holding them back.
Wow, thank you for this. I’m currently unpacking some heavy childhood trauma and I’ve never seen something so applicable to my thought process “ It’s the product of a childhood of scarcity, when things often couldn’t be replaced if they were worn out or damaged, when there was a very real likelihood that I might never get something again once I used it, and when I made my Christmas wishlist based upon what I could get the most use out of rather than what brought me joy.”
This defense mechanism has lead me to be tactical with things to “save” joy or joyful acts for a better time. In reality, there is no better time for joy than right now. Thank you.
Hi from Los Angeles. I am 61 years old and love this so much! I too have a short memory for the clothes I pack away and delight in the discovery as I unpack. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your writing.
Yes! We are in the midst of the painful job of clearing out the house of a dear elder family member who passed away. In the basement, we found hundreds of bottles of wine, which have all gone bad. (Turns out, not all wine gets better with age! It can also turn the corner and become completely undrinkable!) It's inspired a new motto in our family: DRINK THE WINE. Not to say over indulge, but recognize that life is meant to be lived, not hoarded. Yes, save the best for now. Love that.
Thank You! I am just starting the Artists Way (after reading your book, Sacred Self-Care which was life-giving so thank you!!). Appreciate knowing how it helped you and now more excited than ever to see what I learn from it!
Yes! Wear what makes you happy. So you look fab doing errands? Bonus! I've had a really small world due to chronic illness and I've learned to wear the bright colours, modern cuts and jewelry from my closet that give me joy, rather than waiting for the rare times I'm going out. I feel more like me and it brightens my day. Seeking beauty for myself is self care too.
"Our justice frameworks are all sackcloth and ashes, heavy on grief and self-denial but light on joy. The world needs more joy-based justice." That's a whole sermon, Dr. Walker-Barnes. Thank you!
For the longest time, I stored away the "good china" in a beautiful china cabinet, as I had seen my mother do and as she had seen her mother do. I broke that tradition seven years ago, when I sold a china cabinet I had purchased in North Carolina and downsized sets of glassware, etc..And decided the good china would become the "everyday china." Home cooked meals taste so yummy on good china!
Thank you Dr. Walker-Barnes for this blessed reflections
My mother stored away many boxes of glassware she had acquired for special occasions. I recall times during my growing up years when she was cautious about keeping the glassware packed away because it might get broken during use. When she slipped into dementia during her last years, I sorted through the boxes. I found many items wrapped in her hometown newspapers dated 35 years prior. Nothing broken. But no joyful memories either. I learned from this experience that I’d rather have the joy of using and appreciating something — even breaking it.
Same here. My grandmother kept them in the china cabinet. She’d use them only to serve my grandfather and other male elders at family gatherings. After she passed, no one wanted it. Reading your comment helps me realize that we didn’t have any positive memories associated with it because we didn’t get to use it. If anything, I resented it as a teenager because it was the women who had to clean it when the men insisted on using that instead of paper plates.
This was a great read. I needed this reminder. Thank you so much for sharing.
Wonderful reflection! 🙏🏽
Really interesting read, I work as a Professional Organiser helping people declutter and organise their homes and this really resonates. I work with people to encourage them to use the lovely things they have and loose the things that are holding them back.
Yes! That’s part of the process of the book too - clearing out things that no longer serve us.
Wow, thank you for this. I’m currently unpacking some heavy childhood trauma and I’ve never seen something so applicable to my thought process “ It’s the product of a childhood of scarcity, when things often couldn’t be replaced if they were worn out or damaged, when there was a very real likelihood that I might never get something again once I used it, and when I made my Christmas wishlist based upon what I could get the most use out of rather than what brought me joy.”
This defense mechanism has lead me to be tactical with things to “save” joy or joyful acts for a better time. In reality, there is no better time for joy than right now. Thank you.
It amazes me how deeply these experiences get embedded in us. I only recently made this connection.
Hi from Los Angeles. I am 61 years old and love this so much! I too have a short memory for the clothes I pack away and delight in the discovery as I unpack. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your writing.
Yes! We are in the midst of the painful job of clearing out the house of a dear elder family member who passed away. In the basement, we found hundreds of bottles of wine, which have all gone bad. (Turns out, not all wine gets better with age! It can also turn the corner and become completely undrinkable!) It's inspired a new motto in our family: DRINK THE WINE. Not to say over indulge, but recognize that life is meant to be lived, not hoarded. Yes, save the best for now. Love that.
Thank You! I am just starting the Artists Way (after reading your book, Sacred Self-Care which was life-giving so thank you!!). Appreciate knowing how it helped you and now more excited than ever to see what I learn from it!
Yes! Wear what makes you happy. So you look fab doing errands? Bonus! I've had a really small world due to chronic illness and I've learned to wear the bright colours, modern cuts and jewelry from my closet that give me joy, rather than waiting for the rare times I'm going out. I feel more like me and it brightens my day. Seeking beauty for myself is self care too.
"Our justice frameworks are all sackcloth and ashes, heavy on grief and self-denial but light on joy. The world needs more joy-based justice." That's a whole sermon, Dr. Walker-Barnes. Thank you!
For the longest time, I stored away the "good china" in a beautiful china cabinet, as I had seen my mother do and as she had seen her mother do. I broke that tradition seven years ago, when I sold a china cabinet I had purchased in North Carolina and downsized sets of glassware, etc..And decided the good china would become the "everyday china." Home cooked meals taste so yummy on good china!
Thank you Dr. Walker-Barnes for this blessed reflections
"The world needs more joy-based justice." Your words are powerful & true, and this phrase in particular is one I will carry with me. Thank you.
Such an important reminder.
My mother stored away many boxes of glassware she had acquired for special occasions. I recall times during my growing up years when she was cautious about keeping the glassware packed away because it might get broken during use. When she slipped into dementia during her last years, I sorted through the boxes. I found many items wrapped in her hometown newspapers dated 35 years prior. Nothing broken. But no joyful memories either. I learned from this experience that I’d rather have the joy of using and appreciating something — even breaking it.
Same here. My grandmother kept them in the china cabinet. She’d use them only to serve my grandfather and other male elders at family gatherings. After she passed, no one wanted it. Reading your comment helps me realize that we didn’t have any positive memories associated with it because we didn’t get to use it. If anything, I resented it as a teenager because it was the women who had to clean it when the men insisted on using that instead of paper plates.
I was introduced to Julia's book more than 20 yrs ago and have found it so helpful to return to time and again.
I can definitely see that. I’ve had to linger on some chapters for two or more weeks.