Thank you, thank you for sharing this most intimate problem. I’m 73 and fight the same fight with myself!! The past ten years have been the worst. And I never made the connection of all my stress with my increasingly big belly. You have opened my eyes to myself and I nearly cried when I read the ending. I’m also a survivor of childhood abuse. Ten years ago my loving and supportive husband got arrested and put in jail for 6 months, leaving me to fend for myself. 5 years ago we moved from the west coast to the southeast. 4 years ago Covid came and turned everyone’s lives upside down. Then 2 years ago our home got torn up when a hurricane hit us dead center. Through all of this somehow my sanity has remained intact. Other than the (at times) unbelievable stress, my health has remained excellent. Each year at my annual checkup, all numbers are perfect - except for my weight.
Thank you for opening my eyes. Maybe I can find a way to be less angry with my belly.
My God, it feels like you were in my head. It baffles me how deeply my childhood trauma has affected my 54-year-old self even now. The things that a country boy was not supposed to do and somehow God pushed me into doing them, well; even through my body dysmorphic mindset. I am grateful that I am not on this journey alone; regardless.
Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes I think there are no coincidences.
Over the last few months have come to the realization that I simply find human bodies weird. And that includes my own. Never told anybody this. I’ve never written it down. But I do know at my next therapy session I’m bringing it up. I guess this is my practice in talking about it. And, with luck and God’s race, letting all that go.
THANK YOU Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes I absolutely love how you allow yourself to be vulnerable, exposing or rather uncovering and bringing to the light the strongholds that are trying to keep you chained to thoughts that could only come from word, actions, or deed of this world.
You are now and have always been one of God's perfect creations.
Thank you for this. I’m always at war with my body - constantly judging it and scrutinize it. Thank you for the reminder to welcome all the parts of ourselves.
Are you sure that you're not writing about me? This sounds so much like the comments I endured during high school and into my 30s about my thick hair that never reacted to perms or straightening, hairy legs, larger calf muscles and butt I never asked for. Like you, my female counterparts shared their negative opinions, and the males gave too much attention. Though I wanted to attract attention from the boys I had crushes on, it often brought attention from men who were too old or someone I didn't like at all. Years later, I realize that I bought into some of the lies that I was told about myself. In my 60s, I love who I'm becoming and realize that I won't recover the hours I wasted on things that were never that important, afterall. You are beautiful and enough, just as you are.
This is beautifully said. I've been trying to come to terms with my changing body...menopause has altered it significantly, exacerbated by the stress of the past few years. Every time I look at the measurements on a sewing pattern I feel out of proportion, all my curves have migrated to the 'wrong' places. But I want to love this body. I want to celebrate what it can do, what it has weathered. Lately I've been slowly trying to get used to not hiding my roundness, to not treat it like something to be ashamed of. It's not an easy habit to break.
Thank you for speaking truth. I have been through a lot with gall bladder surgery in my twenties, dealing with multiple deaths in my family, caring for my husband who has MS, answering the call to ministry and that’s just the highlights. Through it all my tummy has been in support mode and I’m grateful. I think about my weight way too often. Your article was so helpful.
Thank you, thank you for sharing this most intimate problem. I’m 73 and fight the same fight with myself!! The past ten years have been the worst. And I never made the connection of all my stress with my increasingly big belly. You have opened my eyes to myself and I nearly cried when I read the ending. I’m also a survivor of childhood abuse. Ten years ago my loving and supportive husband got arrested and put in jail for 6 months, leaving me to fend for myself. 5 years ago we moved from the west coast to the southeast. 4 years ago Covid came and turned everyone’s lives upside down. Then 2 years ago our home got torn up when a hurricane hit us dead center. Through all of this somehow my sanity has remained intact. Other than the (at times) unbelievable stress, my health has remained excellent. Each year at my annual checkup, all numbers are perfect - except for my weight.
Thank you for opening my eyes. Maybe I can find a way to be less angry with my belly.
My take is, if all the other numbers say you're healthy, then you're healthy. I hope you can make your way to loving your body shape too.
Yes, belly weight is often caused by stress. And you’ve been through a lot of it. I hope we can both make peace with our bellies!
Thank you, Dr. Chanequa, for this powerful piece. It nourished me in more ways than I can enumerate.
Thank you!
You are most welcome.
My God, it feels like you were in my head. It baffles me how deeply my childhood trauma has affected my 54-year-old self even now. The things that a country boy was not supposed to do and somehow God pushed me into doing them, well; even through my body dysmorphic mindset. I am grateful that I am not on this journey alone; regardless.
Brilliant as always!
Lately I’ve been grappling with this a lot. It’s something I’ve known in theory, but somehow forget in my self-criticism.
Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes I think there are no coincidences.
Over the last few months have come to the realization that I simply find human bodies weird. And that includes my own. Never told anybody this. I’ve never written it down. But I do know at my next therapy session I’m bringing it up. I guess this is my practice in talking about it. And, with luck and God’s race, letting all that go.
I'm standing up over here!
Really appreciate you sharing your truth!
Thank you for this. Such wisdom and challenge. As always your vulnerability is a gift. Encouraged to take the next step on my journey with body work.
THANK YOU Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes I absolutely love how you allow yourself to be vulnerable, exposing or rather uncovering and bringing to the light the strongholds that are trying to keep you chained to thoughts that could only come from word, actions, or deed of this world.
You are now and have always been one of God's perfect creations.
blessings
JJS
Thank you!
Thank you for putting words to my struggles and showing a way through
Love your transparency. Thanks for sharing. Great post!
This was so timely for me. Oh my. Thank you
Thank you for this. I’m always at war with my body - constantly judging it and scrutinize it. Thank you for the reminder to welcome all the parts of ourselves.
It’s crazy how this world makes us battle ourselves.
Are you sure that you're not writing about me? This sounds so much like the comments I endured during high school and into my 30s about my thick hair that never reacted to perms or straightening, hairy legs, larger calf muscles and butt I never asked for. Like you, my female counterparts shared their negative opinions, and the males gave too much attention. Though I wanted to attract attention from the boys I had crushes on, it often brought attention from men who were too old or someone I didn't like at all. Years later, I realize that I bought into some of the lies that I was told about myself. In my 60s, I love who I'm becoming and realize that I won't recover the hours I wasted on things that were never that important, afterall. You are beautiful and enough, just as you are.
This is beautifully said. I've been trying to come to terms with my changing body...menopause has altered it significantly, exacerbated by the stress of the past few years. Every time I look at the measurements on a sewing pattern I feel out of proportion, all my curves have migrated to the 'wrong' places. But I want to love this body. I want to celebrate what it can do, what it has weathered. Lately I've been slowly trying to get used to not hiding my roundness, to not treat it like something to be ashamed of. It's not an easy habit to break.
Love this article! Thank you for your transparency.
Thank you for speaking truth. I have been through a lot with gall bladder surgery in my twenties, dealing with multiple deaths in my family, caring for my husband who has MS, answering the call to ministry and that’s just the highlights. Through it all my tummy has been in support mode and I’m grateful. I think about my weight way too often. Your article was so helpful.