Today's reading and prompt really made me think about what it means to not only have the established boundaries, but to HONOR them fully. When I honor my boundaries I tend to my own garden and my own needs. I have my favorite mug from Target (BHM collection) and it says, "you can't pour from an empty cup." I don't even put this mug in the cabinet I leave it out on the counter so I can see it every time I go in the kitchen. The hymnal that is with today's reading, "I shall not be moved," also really put things in perspective for me. I have found myself "moving" my boundaries to tend to others, when the best thing to do is to "tend to myself FIRST," so I can have something to pour to others. My new boundary is around listening to my body and acting accordingly. If I'm tired that's it and I don't always have to push myself. If my brain is running a mile a minute, the best way for me to become re-centered is to disconnect and just be. #Boundaries #mindingmybusiness
Tiffany, you make a good point about actually following through with honoring established boundaries. That is something I need to reevaluate in my own life. I love how you’ve interpreted the hymn “I shall not be moved” to help remind us to be steady in maintaining our boundaries. Indeed, as a woman, I have been socialized to continually be “moving “my boundaries in order to tend to others.
The readings this week were helpful in reflecting upon being other-focused. There have been some legitimate crises involving people close to me over the past few weeks (including my husband‘s injury a few weeks ago), which have required me to step up and do a lot of caregiving. I’ve done OK in taking care of myself while doing all the caregiving. God willing, it seems like the intense crisis phase is winding down.
Now, I need to set a few more boundaries to allow me an opportunity to replenish myself. My boundary for this week is to choose which days I will take off from work and go on a retreat. (I’m thinking I will do a retreat within the next six weeks). I will take at least 3 days off plus a weekend to give myself 5 days away from work. Even as I write this, I am cringing at the thought of, “oh my gosh, you’re going to use up three whole days of annual leave???“ I am realizing right now how heavily my thought process is influenced by the capitalist mindset of scarcity.
Colleen- It's great to hear the intense crisis phase is winding down. As I read your post it made me think of how Dr. C on p.92 noted that boundaries "are fluid, changing across time, circumstance, and relationship". I hope you do go on a retreat and it gives you the space to really care for yourself in ways you likely haven't been able to do in the past weeks.
Colleen, I pray you do go on a retreat to sit with God and be. I pray you are able to be blessed by the retreat experience. As someone who facilitates and participates in retreats, I have witnessed many transformation through retreats
I’ve been thinking a lot today about boundaries and the need for them to be fluid at times. After much reflection, I realised that one of the boundaries I set up I was sticking to more to “stick to it” than because I felt I needed that boundary to protect space for myself. So I have opened the door temporarily and that feels like the right decision.
This week’s readings forced me to examine my pre-cancer yes-saying, which I think stemmed from knowing I could do something well/better, wanting to be important/FOMO/“at the table”/part of inner circle, or wanting the other person to continue to see me as helpful/a good friend/a capable person/generous. These self-serving reasons are hard to admit, but they reveal how many of my actions are driven by a desire *for* significance/purpose rather than flowing *from* a centered purpose or understanding of my worth.
I identify a lot with the reasons you shared for always saying yes, Corrie. I am working through some similar things in regards to work and social engagements.
The readings have reminded me of core and soulful elements that are life giving because they honor my self care, which has been a priority since I left my full time job. It has helped differentiate the “should” from “care & compassion to self.”
I have been attending a conference this week, and as I listen to others share about “how extended they are at work,” and how they put self-care last, I have been mindful in honoring my own boundary. Much is said in a supportive presence.
I want to work on boundaries with myself and fomo. As i try to stop overextending myself and calm my nervous system from a hard season, i need to unlearn some negative coping mechanisms like overworking and overeating.
Today's reading and prompt really made me think about what it means to not only have the established boundaries, but to HONOR them fully. When I honor my boundaries I tend to my own garden and my own needs. I have my favorite mug from Target (BHM collection) and it says, "you can't pour from an empty cup." I don't even put this mug in the cabinet I leave it out on the counter so I can see it every time I go in the kitchen. The hymnal that is with today's reading, "I shall not be moved," also really put things in perspective for me. I have found myself "moving" my boundaries to tend to others, when the best thing to do is to "tend to myself FIRST," so I can have something to pour to others. My new boundary is around listening to my body and acting accordingly. If I'm tired that's it and I don't always have to push myself. If my brain is running a mile a minute, the best way for me to become re-centered is to disconnect and just be. #Boundaries #mindingmybusiness
Tiffany, you make a good point about actually following through with honoring established boundaries. That is something I need to reevaluate in my own life. I love how you’ve interpreted the hymn “I shall not be moved” to help remind us to be steady in maintaining our boundaries. Indeed, as a woman, I have been socialized to continually be “moving “my boundaries in order to tend to others.
This is the version of "I shall not be moved" I've been listening to today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLc8YeXP8FY
The readings this week were helpful in reflecting upon being other-focused. There have been some legitimate crises involving people close to me over the past few weeks (including my husband‘s injury a few weeks ago), which have required me to step up and do a lot of caregiving. I’ve done OK in taking care of myself while doing all the caregiving. God willing, it seems like the intense crisis phase is winding down.
Now, I need to set a few more boundaries to allow me an opportunity to replenish myself. My boundary for this week is to choose which days I will take off from work and go on a retreat. (I’m thinking I will do a retreat within the next six weeks). I will take at least 3 days off plus a weekend to give myself 5 days away from work. Even as I write this, I am cringing at the thought of, “oh my gosh, you’re going to use up three whole days of annual leave???“ I am realizing right now how heavily my thought process is influenced by the capitalist mindset of scarcity.
Colleen- It's great to hear the intense crisis phase is winding down. As I read your post it made me think of how Dr. C on p.92 noted that boundaries "are fluid, changing across time, circumstance, and relationship". I hope you do go on a retreat and it gives you the space to really care for yourself in ways you likely haven't been able to do in the past weeks.
Colleen, I pray you do go on a retreat to sit with God and be. I pray you are able to be blessed by the retreat experience. As someone who facilitates and participates in retreats, I have witnessed many transformation through retreats
I’ve been thinking a lot today about boundaries and the need for them to be fluid at times. After much reflection, I realised that one of the boundaries I set up I was sticking to more to “stick to it” than because I felt I needed that boundary to protect space for myself. So I have opened the door temporarily and that feels like the right decision.
This week’s readings forced me to examine my pre-cancer yes-saying, which I think stemmed from knowing I could do something well/better, wanting to be important/FOMO/“at the table”/part of inner circle, or wanting the other person to continue to see me as helpful/a good friend/a capable person/generous. These self-serving reasons are hard to admit, but they reveal how many of my actions are driven by a desire *for* significance/purpose rather than flowing *from* a centered purpose or understanding of my worth.
I identify a lot with the reasons you shared for always saying yes, Corrie. I am working through some similar things in regards to work and social engagements.
Corrie, What a powerful statement you have made with “flowing from a centered purpose or understanding of my worth.”
The readings have reminded me of core and soulful elements that are life giving because they honor my self care, which has been a priority since I left my full time job. It has helped differentiate the “should” from “care & compassion to self.”
I have been attending a conference this week, and as I listen to others share about “how extended they are at work,” and how they put self-care last, I have been mindful in honoring my own boundary. Much is said in a supportive presence.
I want to work on boundaries with myself and fomo. As i try to stop overextending myself and calm my nervous system from a hard season, i need to unlearn some negative coping mechanisms like overworking and overeating.
I highly recommend Nedra Glover Tawwab's books. And FOMO is so real!
Ive read both of them and am thinking of getting the workbooks.