Being Well When Sick

After four years, I'm no longer on the never-COVID list

Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash

God got jokes. Last week, I wrote about finding peace in the midst of life’s many storms. This week, I tested positive for COVID-19 for the first time. Ironically, the diagnosis came during a week when I was practicing physical rest. All summer I’ve been working on lightening my emotional and cognitive load, but I’ve been stepping up my exercise, increasing my strength training regimen and moving to a high intensity water aerobics class. I’ve also done a lot more yoga. In essence, I moved a lot of my do-something energy to physical fitness. Exercise is crucial for managing my chronic pain, but I realized that my body was sending signals that it needed rest. So I decided to take a week away from the gym (okay, I started with a day and then another day and then made peace with a week away), replacing the more strenuous exercise with short and slow walks and yin yoga.

It was not so hard, then, for me to slow down even further when I saw the two bright pink lines on the home test. COVID-19 isn’t an interruption to my practices of rest, presence, and joy inasmuch as it’s an opportunity to practice in a different way. I’m taking an online class for my mindfulness teacher certification right now. The day that I was diagnosed, I was supposed to lead our opening practice and do another in a small group. When the teacher gave me the option of letting someone else do the opening, I said yes even as my inner good student wanted to push through my symptoms, which were pretty mild. Later, as we were preparing to go into small groups, I surprised myself by asking to be assigned to a group where I could just participate rather than lead. This was a big step for me. I really like being a good student. I’m allowing this diagnosis to help me become a better student of my body.

I’m paying attention to myself, noticing the symptoms when they arise rather than waiting until they are screaming at me. As soon as the positive diagnosis came up, I logged onto my health insurance’s telemedicine service and talked with a doctor about next steps. We decided to hold off a day or two to decide if the side effects of Paxlovid were worth the benefit (a recently published Pfizer study indicates that it may not provide much additional benefit to people who are vaccinated, even if they have at least one risk factor for ). I decided to watch my symptom progression in the first 24-48 hours and make a decision about the medication, with the doctor’s promise that he’d readily call in a prescription if I asked for it. Having recently weaned off some medications because the side effects outweighed their benefits, I was proud of myself for exercising agency and grateful for a doctor who encouraged it.

So far, I’m managing the symptoms with a combination of OTC medications, hydration (including lots of herbal tea), rest, aromatherapy, and my neti pot. When I feel up to it, I’ll do some restorative yoga to help activate my vagus nerve and manage the anxiety that comes with this diagnosis. And it’s time to break out the bottle of Rock & Rye and make one of those hot toddies that my mom forced me to drink when I was sick as a child. I wish I still had that glass mug that she would let me use then. I always felt special drinking out of that mug, even though I hated what was in it. /

I’m spending my days reading, sleeping when I can, and watching a lot of the Olympics and Disney movies. I’m eating comfort foods (who says you can’t eat cake and applesauce for breakfast?). I’m working a bit, but only when I feel capable and on things I want to work on. Writing this is one of those things (I did it the first day when the symptoms were mild).

When the COVID-19 pandemic first happened, my family went on strict lockdown. I told my then middle-schooler, “Inevitably we will get this virus. What we’re trying to do is to delay that as long as possible, so that it has time to evolve into something less dangerous and the medical world knows better how to treat it. After evading the illness just a few weeks ago when others around me came down with it, I was starting to think that evading COVID-19 was my superpower. Apparently it isn’t. But maybe practicing wellness during COVID-19 can be.