I can so relate to this unwanted gift of invisibility, and as usual, your writing is an encouraging reminder to practice visibility instead of prioritizing the feelings and comfort of people who would rather pretend I’m not here.
As a (relatively) affluent, (relatively) loud and charismatic white man who is just learning to see my own privilege and wanting to understand how to make space for others (rather than fully occupying all the space and more that is afforded me by my privileged status), this was helpful. Thank you.
Thank you for your writing, Dr Walker-Barnes. I grew up feeling sometimes invisible and sometimes hypervisible. I’m a white woman who grew up as the weird kid in the family, high functioning autistic with very immature social skills. One of my practices now is to see people, make eye contact and smile, and really try to convey (wordlessly) “I see you, you’re beautiful, we’re just here as fellow humans going about our day.” Sometimes I blurt out “Ooh, I love your glasses” or “That’s a gorgeous dress!” I love the warm looks I receive. I hope I make other folks’ day just a bit better.
Oh my yes! I have been thinking about a writing project on entitled- When I became invisible in my church! Looking at how young people and older adults are invisible 🫥 in many churches for different reasons. It’s hard work shaking off the cloak of invisibility that people put on, I usually sit in front at meetings and if someone says what I just said, I point it out! Those apologies that come, like you at the pool, I declare, l am here. Thank you for your continued wisdom stories, they are life giving ❤️
"I will not tolerate it being imposed upon me in ways that are contrary to my desires." Amazing. Thank you for your powerful words here, and for refusing in so many ways to be invisible.
i too have come to learn how to harness my invisibility superpower…after experiencing moments in stores while browsing having white people literally reach directly over my head for a thing as if i wasn’t a whole body standing there😤. those moments used to frustrate me…until my CPE [chaplain] residency where i used invisibility to my advantage in protecting my peace, quieting myself (as a vocal leader) to observe the room dynamics w/out my contributions, etc. exercising autonomy when i want to wield my superpower has helped me learn the power of my voice and my presence and how i choose for them both to show up in the world.
I'm a bit of an introverted White man and I want to thank you for this article. I've often felt invisible, but for me it is most often a choice. I had not thought of that before. So, thank you for helping me to see that.
So very true, “invisibility can be a superpower, only if we get to choose it.” It is similar to the story we own, get to tell and be heard. Some people are too quick to want to tell other people’s stories. I will be leading a program where attendees will get a chance to share a sliver of their own story in however format they choose. Power is in how we choose to speak, stand, breathe or be invisible
you had me at Marvel, lol. this is beautiful and visceral + this: "Invisibility can be a superpower, but only if we get to choose it on our own terms." I've heard black women in NYC talk about how the dynamic of invisibility takes place on the sidewalks, where they're expected to move to the side when white people walk by...and not take up space...or be visible.
Good morning. This was so rich and what I needed. I’m experiencing some things at work that this writing speaks directly to. I will learn to use my super powers of invisibility in a way that is beneficial to me and when I choose to. Thank you for this.
I can so relate to this unwanted gift of invisibility, and as usual, your writing is an encouraging reminder to practice visibility instead of prioritizing the feelings and comfort of people who would rather pretend I’m not here.
As a (relatively) affluent, (relatively) loud and charismatic white man who is just learning to see my own privilege and wanting to understand how to make space for others (rather than fully occupying all the space and more that is afforded me by my privileged status), this was helpful. Thank you.
Thank you for your writing, Dr Walker-Barnes. I grew up feeling sometimes invisible and sometimes hypervisible. I’m a white woman who grew up as the weird kid in the family, high functioning autistic with very immature social skills. One of my practices now is to see people, make eye contact and smile, and really try to convey (wordlessly) “I see you, you’re beautiful, we’re just here as fellow humans going about our day.” Sometimes I blurt out “Ooh, I love your glasses” or “That’s a gorgeous dress!” I love the warm looks I receive. I hope I make other folks’ day just a bit better.
Oh my yes! I have been thinking about a writing project on entitled- When I became invisible in my church! Looking at how young people and older adults are invisible 🫥 in many churches for different reasons. It’s hard work shaking off the cloak of invisibility that people put on, I usually sit in front at meetings and if someone says what I just said, I point it out! Those apologies that come, like you at the pool, I declare, l am here. Thank you for your continued wisdom stories, they are life giving ❤️
Thank you! The church seems to especially love making people invisible- children, people with disabilities, the elderly, etc.
"I will not tolerate it being imposed upon me in ways that are contrary to my desires." Amazing. Thank you for your powerful words here, and for refusing in so many ways to be invisible.
i too have come to learn how to harness my invisibility superpower…after experiencing moments in stores while browsing having white people literally reach directly over my head for a thing as if i wasn’t a whole body standing there😤. those moments used to frustrate me…until my CPE [chaplain] residency where i used invisibility to my advantage in protecting my peace, quieting myself (as a vocal leader) to observe the room dynamics w/out my contributions, etc. exercising autonomy when i want to wield my superpower has helped me learn the power of my voice and my presence and how i choose for them both to show up in the world.
Right! There are ways that it can benefit us when we use it strategically.
This is powerful. Thank you!
Powerful! Thank you sharing and writing ~~ as I read, I feel seen.
I'm a bit of an introverted White man and I want to thank you for this article. I've often felt invisible, but for me it is most often a choice. I had not thought of that before. So, thank you for helping me to see that.
Thank you for reading!
So very true, “invisibility can be a superpower, only if we get to choose it.” It is similar to the story we own, get to tell and be heard. Some people are too quick to want to tell other people’s stories. I will be leading a program where attendees will get a chance to share a sliver of their own story in however format they choose. Power is in how we choose to speak, stand, breathe or be invisible
“Power is in how we choose to speak, stand, breathe or be invisible.” Yes, indeed!
you had me at Marvel, lol. this is beautiful and visceral + this: "Invisibility can be a superpower, but only if we get to choose it on our own terms." I've heard black women in NYC talk about how the dynamic of invisibility takes place on the sidewalks, where they're expected to move to the side when white people walk by...and not take up space...or be visible.
I love when writing sends me to my comic collection to do “research.” I actually had to go back to my Ms. Marvel volume 1!
Good morning. This was so rich and what I needed. I’m experiencing some things at work that this writing speaks directly to. I will learn to use my super powers of invisibility in a way that is beneficial to me and when I choose to. Thank you for this.
Thank you for reading and commenting!