Much of what you say is instinctive to me as a lifetime survivor—things I just know and feel powerless to share, either as reason or warning, because I do not have the background and training to make myself heard credibly. I am a descendant of genocide survivors and a student of the Holocaust. I am living this regime with memory that isn't going away. I write, post, and publish a blog with art and text conceived as a vehicle for reaching out. But now, words stick in my angry throat, and art is hiding too deep to reach. I mourn human upon human brutality that hits me in the face every day in countless ways—just as you say. Even the title of your post brings me anguish.
Thank you. Wonderfully written and succinct description of the world we are in right now. Listening to Trump any Hearing his cabinet try to avoid responsibility for the Signal call, listening to MTGreen interview PBS president I thought of the year we granted all mental patients their freedom. May have saved the USA money but it seems to me our government is now populated with a good number of mentally unstable individuals.
Dr. Barnes, thanks for writing this. Your description of 'common relational dynamics for narcissistic-psychopathic abusers' sounds like employers in this job market right now!
"Prioritize safety from this administration and its supporters, not community or dialogue with them. Do not waste energy on trying to educate or change the abuser. Stop trying to appeal to their empathy; they have little to no capacity for it. Resistance and separation, not collaboration, are the only strategy. This is hard for Christians, whose belief in redemption makes them particularly susceptible to being taken with the charm of narcissistic predators. Many Christians like to think that everyone is redeemable if we are just nice enough and pray hard enough. That is not how this works."
I appreciate this Christian call out! It is giving me much to internally reflect on. I would love for you to expand more on this. Particularly for folks who don't seem to have the option to separate.
Thank you for calling out what is, and for stressing the importance of self-care in this "whip-lash" environment we find ourselves in. Thank you for the courage to speak and stand. We hold space for you as well
Yes. Well said. Not surprisingly! I almost finished my comment by naming that it might cost my life to stand up for what's right...but I rarely say that bc it smacks of a heroic martyr ideology. Especially bc much more vulnerable people are likely to suffer much more. And at any rate that's not what we need, but we do need to face the stakes; which are indeed very high. But, after all, Jesus showed us all that truth. Hope that is costly is the only true hope.
I feel like I'm not alone in my thinking as I read your article and my suspicions feel validated. Thank you for your courage to write and share your wisdom from experience, education and deep faith. I continue to be moved by all your writing. I'm also resourcing your "Sacred Self-Care" book for myself this Lent and promoting and advising my congregation to take it up also. It's been wonderful! Thank you! Keep your pieces coming.
I think I have grown numb to the daily "next thing" spilling from the daily news cycle. This time is different. This is not one man's extreme behavior, acting out against our collective will. This time I have accepted the hard truth that this is what "my fellow Americans" have knowingly chosen. I am reminded of how I felt when the "not guilty" verdict came down for Zimmerman following Treyvon Martin's murder. The sober acceptance of the apparent truth that this justice system was not designed to produce justice for people like us. The sad realization, "We are on our own." On Nov. 6, 2024 that same resignation settled into my body. This is who and what America is...still. So I too am choosing. Choosing to use all my time, energy and resource to fulfill the call and mission of my life for the glory of the one who calls. Trusting that our diligence and faithfulness to our individual and collective work will undermine and undo the plots and plans of evil allied against us. There is no more shock and disbelief. There is only resolve and commitment.
Thank you Dr. Chanequa for putting into words the collective trauma many of us are experiencing. Since January I have limited my social media and news intake. I will listen to PBS a few days a week. Prayer and scripture have helped remind me that God is a very present help in the time of trouble and that evil will eventually be defeated—I just need to hold on to the peace & hope that come from God and God alone.
Our church is currently reading Sacred Self-Care for Lent. Thank you for the gift you are to so many of us!
So delighted to hear that your church is reading Sacred Self-Care! Limiting social media and news is important. We have to stay informed enough to know how to resist but not so much that we begin to feel hopeless.
Well written and good advice. Would like to share this. But, these are dangerous times so I will only do so, privately. Your points about the impossibility of collaboration are fair warnings. In my mind, I wonder how a "re-programming" might work for those followers under the spell of the con. Also, your point about Congress being inactive because of guardrails being dismantled by voters... is astute and real. However, I am more and more convinced that the ones crying "foul play" in 2020, did a deep dive into "how it could happen" and then, this time, implemented it. We are definitely all thrown off balance and it is difficult to know how to protect ourselves and ones we love. I am trying something new here and wondering about how to work within corporate entities in safe spaces.
The Venn diagram of therapists who do cult deprogramming and antiracist/decolonizing therapists seems small. But we really need our peers who specialize in cults to provide some guidance in reprogramming.
Dr. Chanequa, as always thank you. I just pointed out some of these issues the other day and the fact that I would not be engaging with people who support him, nor people who want to help me understand the various people groups I named (racists, self hating Black/brown people, and “Christians”) who voted for him because I understand already. My self care practices during this time is not allowing myself to be “consumed” with their every move, because I do understand the psychology of it. I limit my news sources to those I deem most credible at this time. Meditation practices, devotional practices and prayer and being a safe place for those looking for one. Thank you for your ministry.
Reading this in May 2025 after a few weeks of feeling fried and frayed brings me comfort that I am not “making this feeling up”
Much of what you say is instinctive to me as a lifetime survivor—things I just know and feel powerless to share, either as reason or warning, because I do not have the background and training to make myself heard credibly. I am a descendant of genocide survivors and a student of the Holocaust. I am living this regime with memory that isn't going away. I write, post, and publish a blog with art and text conceived as a vehicle for reaching out. But now, words stick in my angry throat, and art is hiding too deep to reach. I mourn human upon human brutality that hits me in the face every day in countless ways—just as you say. Even the title of your post brings me anguish.
Thank you. Wonderfully written and succinct description of the world we are in right now. Listening to Trump any Hearing his cabinet try to avoid responsibility for the Signal call, listening to MTGreen interview PBS president I thought of the year we granted all mental patients their freedom. May have saved the USA money but it seems to me our government is now populated with a good number of mentally unstable individuals.
Thank you …
Dr. Barnes, thanks for writing this. Your description of 'common relational dynamics for narcissistic-psychopathic abusers' sounds like employers in this job market right now!
"Prioritize safety from this administration and its supporters, not community or dialogue with them. Do not waste energy on trying to educate or change the abuser. Stop trying to appeal to their empathy; they have little to no capacity for it. Resistance and separation, not collaboration, are the only strategy. This is hard for Christians, whose belief in redemption makes them particularly susceptible to being taken with the charm of narcissistic predators. Many Christians like to think that everyone is redeemable if we are just nice enough and pray hard enough. That is not how this works."
I appreciate this Christian call out! It is giving me much to internally reflect on. I would love for you to expand more on this. Particularly for folks who don't seem to have the option to separate.
GIRL!!!!! THIS!!!!!!! It feels like being in a toxic-ass, abusive-ass marriage with a narc all over again!
Thank you for calling out what is, and for stressing the importance of self-care in this "whip-lash" environment we find ourselves in. Thank you for the courage to speak and stand. We hold space for you as well
Thank you for calling out the problem that he is. I'm a new-ish reader and I appreciate your perspective and guidance.
This is so helpful. Thank you for writing it.
Yes. Well said. Not surprisingly! I almost finished my comment by naming that it might cost my life to stand up for what's right...but I rarely say that bc it smacks of a heroic martyr ideology. Especially bc much more vulnerable people are likely to suffer much more. And at any rate that's not what we need, but we do need to face the stakes; which are indeed very high. But, after all, Jesus showed us all that truth. Hope that is costly is the only true hope.
I feel like I'm not alone in my thinking as I read your article and my suspicions feel validated. Thank you for your courage to write and share your wisdom from experience, education and deep faith. I continue to be moved by all your writing. I'm also resourcing your "Sacred Self-Care" book for myself this Lent and promoting and advising my congregation to take it up also. It's been wonderful! Thank you! Keep your pieces coming.
Thank you!
I think I have grown numb to the daily "next thing" spilling from the daily news cycle. This time is different. This is not one man's extreme behavior, acting out against our collective will. This time I have accepted the hard truth that this is what "my fellow Americans" have knowingly chosen. I am reminded of how I felt when the "not guilty" verdict came down for Zimmerman following Treyvon Martin's murder. The sober acceptance of the apparent truth that this justice system was not designed to produce justice for people like us. The sad realization, "We are on our own." On Nov. 6, 2024 that same resignation settled into my body. This is who and what America is...still. So I too am choosing. Choosing to use all my time, energy and resource to fulfill the call and mission of my life for the glory of the one who calls. Trusting that our diligence and faithfulness to our individual and collective work will undermine and undo the plots and plans of evil allied against us. There is no more shock and disbelief. There is only resolve and commitment.
I feel all of this deeply, Donna. Thank you.
You had me at the title.
Thank you Dr. Chanequa for putting into words the collective trauma many of us are experiencing. Since January I have limited my social media and news intake. I will listen to PBS a few days a week. Prayer and scripture have helped remind me that God is a very present help in the time of trouble and that evil will eventually be defeated—I just need to hold on to the peace & hope that come from God and God alone.
Our church is currently reading Sacred Self-Care for Lent. Thank you for the gift you are to so many of us!
Peace & Blessings!
So delighted to hear that your church is reading Sacred Self-Care! Limiting social media and news is important. We have to stay informed enough to know how to resist but not so much that we begin to feel hopeless.
Well written and good advice. Would like to share this. But, these are dangerous times so I will only do so, privately. Your points about the impossibility of collaboration are fair warnings. In my mind, I wonder how a "re-programming" might work for those followers under the spell of the con. Also, your point about Congress being inactive because of guardrails being dismantled by voters... is astute and real. However, I am more and more convinced that the ones crying "foul play" in 2020, did a deep dive into "how it could happen" and then, this time, implemented it. We are definitely all thrown off balance and it is difficult to know how to protect ourselves and ones we love. I am trying something new here and wondering about how to work within corporate entities in safe spaces.
The Venn diagram of therapists who do cult deprogramming and antiracist/decolonizing therapists seems small. But we really need our peers who specialize in cults to provide some guidance in reprogramming.
Dr. Chanequa, as always thank you. I just pointed out some of these issues the other day and the fact that I would not be engaging with people who support him, nor people who want to help me understand the various people groups I named (racists, self hating Black/brown people, and “Christians”) who voted for him because I understand already. My self care practices during this time is not allowing myself to be “consumed” with their every move, because I do understand the psychology of it. I limit my news sources to those I deem most credible at this time. Meditation practices, devotional practices and prayer and being a safe place for those looking for one. Thank you for your ministry.
Same. I check in a few times daily but in small doses. I’m not watching the news right now because it’s too overwhelming.